1
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2
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3
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4
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5
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ALARMS BLARE

6
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:30,640
No, no! Snooze! Snooze!

7
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:31,960
Snooze.

8
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,960
MOBILE RINGS

9
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,960
Oh, God. Bubble!

10
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:36,960
Yes, I AM getting up

11
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,960
and in fact I would BE up

12
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:40,960
SHE SIGHS

13
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,960
Come on, snooze! Snooze!

14
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,960
Snooze.

15
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:47,960
Oh, well, I'm awake now. Awake now.

16
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,960
ALARMS BLARE

17
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,960
Oh, yes, I'm awake now, I said.

18
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,640
Oh, God!

19
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,960
YOU'RE LATE! I am not late.

20
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:01,960
Anyway, darling, you've got

21
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,960
you know, you've got

22
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,960
My website is me - it must be

23
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,960
Vitamin B,

24
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,960
ginkgo,

25
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:13,640
black cohosh,

26
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,800
dong! Oop!

27
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:17,960
SHE COUGHS

28
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:21,160
All right, darling.

29
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,000
I want, "I met Ulrika at a party.

30
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,960
that sort of thing. Do it, do it.

31
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,960
Shall I Twitter that?

32
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,960
And also stay here

33
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,960
It's all right.

34
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,800
I'm here already, dear.

35
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:36,960
Oh.

36
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,960
Well, howdy, stranger!

37
00:01:41,479 --> 00:01:43,960
It looks as though

38
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,960
It's a skirt, it's a skirt!

39
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,960
Anyway what are you doing here?

40
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,960
I haven't got time,

41
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,960
I've got to go, you stay here,

42
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,960
and frisk her before she leaves,

43
00:01:55,960 --> 00:02:00,800
The whole house is alarmed now.

44
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:05,960
Where are we?

45
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,000
Brixton, madam. Brixton! Brixton!

46
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,320
Play some dubstep, dis my hood.

47
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,800
Hey, Brixtooon.

48
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,640
Brixtoooon, yeah.

49
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:19,960
Hey, wha'gwan? Wha'gwan?

50
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:23,960
What? No, no, they'll take the...

51
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,160
Drive like the wind!

52
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,640
FOGHORN BLARES

53
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:31,960
You're late.

54
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,000
Darling, you've been in there

55
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,160
I don't think two hours will

56
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,960
Oh, let's look at you, darling.

57
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,960
Oh, look at you. Old skinny-winny.

58
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,960
You're skinny-winny thin,

59
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,160
Didn't you eat your slop?

60
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,320
I missed you, darling.

61
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,960
Going to give Mum a hug?

62
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,960
Give Mum...a hug.

63
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,960
Yes, I've ballooned!

64
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,960
You could have come and visited.

65
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,480
Look, darling, I've been

66
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,480
recent trunkal obesity,

67
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,000
And anyway, darling, I did.

68
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,959
You know, they wouldn't let me in.

69
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,480
You have to come at visiting times.

70
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,960
Oh, visiting times. Visiting...

71
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,960
I was banging on the door!

72
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,960
Probably too ashamed to be seen

73
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,320
Oh, no, darling, that's cool.

74
00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:34,159
Oh, yeah, kids in pris.

75
00:04:34,159 --> 00:04:35,960
We got a little club -

76
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,960
me, Bryan Ferry, Dave Gilmour,

77
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,960
And actually, darling, your crime -

78
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,960
ain't so bad as some of them.

79
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,960
What was yours?

80
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,960
I didn't know.

81
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,960
No.

82
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,000
I didn't know!

83
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,960
Darling, you are innocent

84
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,960
and you've been proved guilty,

85
00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,960
Oh!

86
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,960
Hello, sweetie. Hello, Dad.

87
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,000
No, no, no! Not on my surfaces!

88
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,160
No, no!

89
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,960
CHAMPAGNE HISSES

90
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,960
Well, what are you doing here?

91
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,960
I've got a car boot to get to.

92
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,480
Oh! Well, jump in, slam it shut

93
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,960
Hey, hey, hey,

94
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,960
You look great. You look great,

95
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,960
Have you managed to talk

96
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:31,960
Your granddaughter.

97
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:37,159
She's called Lola.

98
00:05:37,159 --> 00:05:39,960
Anyway, is she going to come back

99
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,960
No, she's in school.

100
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,960
Eddy! Eddy, where have you been?

101
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,960
I'm...I'm here, Saff. I'm here.

102
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:57,480
Well, I must be off. Bye, dear.

103
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,960
Are you out for a long time?

104
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,000
For ever, Gran.

105
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,160
Oh, jolly good. Keep in touch.

106
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,960
Not so fast.

107
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,640
Is that really necessary?

108
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,960
Yes, because of the few possessions

109
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,960
there isn't one

110
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,960
on some Antiques Roadshow

111
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,320
Thank you. You may go.

112
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:26,000
Nothing for the car boot, then?

113
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,320
Just you!

114
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:29,960
SHE GROWLS

115
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,800
Darling, what are you doing, Pats?

116
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:44,960
Respect for doing bird.

117
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,960
Darling, you know

118
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,960
the hacks, the hogs,

119
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,960
The guards? The guards, yeah?

120
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,960
Yeah. Well, they tell me that

121
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,960
What, Saffy?

122
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:58,960
Yeah.

123
00:06:58,960 --> 00:06:59,960
So cheers!

124
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:00,960
Cheers.

125
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,960
Cheers.

126
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,960
After living with you two

127
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,960
believe me, prison was like a spa.

128
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,000
So sweet. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

129
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,960
SHE BELCHES

130
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,960
So, what's been happening?

131
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,960
I feel like I've been away ages.

132
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,960
Oh, well, fashion-wise,

133
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,960
Oh, is it? Oh!

134
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,960
Yeah. Donatella is still with us.

135
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,000
And we're loving Ferragamo pumps

136
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,960
I love pumps, I love wearing pumps.

137
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:35,960
No, Eddy, darling. Why?

138
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,960
No, not flats on you. Why?

139
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:38,960
Mrs Pepperpot.

140
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,960
Oh! Thank you.

141
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,960
Thank you for making me

142
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,960
at a time in my life, darling,

143
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,159
when every fat cell

144
00:07:47,159 --> 00:07:49,960
has come back for

145
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,960
I don't suppose even the credit

146
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:54,960
SIZZLING

147
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,960
Thank you, Pats.

148
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:01,640
What's happening, what's happening?

149
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:04,000
Who are all these people?

150
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,320
Mum, I don't know.

151
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,960
Ask me, darling.

152
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:07,960
Who are all these people?

153
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,480
I don't know!

154
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,320
They're just no-names,

155
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,960
Look, there's a new disease

156
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,960
It's just sort of spread.

157
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:19,960
Like herpes. Yeah.

158
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,960
Each one with its own reality show.

159
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,960
Yeah. They're multiplying

160
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,640
Darling, look at this

161
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,960
Very soon, she will

162
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,160
and become TWO Kardashians.

163
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:33,960
That looks like a boob. In fact,

164
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,960
It's another Kardashian.

165
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,960
I'm not interested. I meant, what's

166
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:40,960
Ooh!

167
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:41,960
They got married!

168
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,960
The nation's sweethearts,

169
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,960
Oh, my God, the Royal Wedding!

170
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,960
No. Ooh!

171
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,960
A day like no other!

172
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,000
"I want to see them! I want

173
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,800
"I've camped out for 12 weeks,

174
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,960
"Oh, oh, oh! It's McQueen!

175
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,960
Oh,

176
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:12,960
Oh! "Betwixt and between,

177
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,160
And Pippa! Pippa!

178
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,960
Swish, swish, swish down the aisle.

179
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,960
Great, big, fat arse!

180
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,160
Swish, swish, swish!

181
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,960
No knickers!

182
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,960
Rear of the year!

183
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,960
Hey! Ooh, guess who I am.

184
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:32,960
Go on, guess, guess. Yeah?

185
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:33,960
Stop.

186
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:36,960
And then on the balcony...

187
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,960
kissy, kissy, kissy, kissy, kissy.

188
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,960
No tongues, no tongues!

189
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,960
Oh, Dad, is Aung San Suu Kyi out?

190
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,960
Sushi, darling? No, that's a staple!

191
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,960
Yes, sweetie, she's out.

192
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,160
Yes, awful.

193
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,800
Oh, I don't know.

194
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,960
Nothing wrong

195
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,960
It only takes one person to realise

196
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,480
Just a pane of glass.

197
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:03,960
Oh, darling, the real news is

198
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,960
Patsy and I have been banned

199
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,960
Unfairly.

200
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,800
Ridiculous!

201
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,960
I mean, all I did was

202
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,960
and didn't realise he was breast-

203
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,160
You ran at him, Eddy.

204
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,960
But I slipped on the lactation.

205
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,960
You hit him like a bowling ball.

206
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,960
Elton John has a baby?

207
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,960
We think he got a big egg

208
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,960
Cheers. Cheers, darling.

209
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,960
KEYS JANGLE

210
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:36,960
KEYS CLATTER IN DOOR

211
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,960
Hello, darling, just thought I'd

212
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,800
Oh!

213
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:45,960
Hello.

214
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,480
Oh, is that how long you are?

215
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,960
Are those your toes?

216
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,160
You were only that long

217
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:58,640
You're going to bed early, Mum.

218
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,960
I watch a Killing a night.

219
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,960
You're actually watching

220
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,960
Although I think Danish is pretty

221
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,960
Oh!

222
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,960
SHE SPEAKS GIBBERISH

223
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,960
EDDY CHUCKLES

224
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,960
It's a little joke in Danish -

225
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,960
Oh, proud of you, top cat.

226
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:20,960
Top dog. Dog.

227
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:24,960
So...

228
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,160
Oh, for God's sake, just ask!

229
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,960
All right. Was there any fiddly

230
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,160
No. There was no fiddly diddling

231
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,640
Sounds dirty

232
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:36,960
I did have lots of friends.

233
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,960
Oh, did you, darling?

234
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,960
If you want any of your friends

235
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,960
I would be cool, you know that, hmm?

236
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,320
Oh! Well...there is someone.

237
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,960
A special friend.

238
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,960
HER BREATH SHAKES

239
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,960
No, not in a sexual way!

240
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,800
Look, really, Mum, I'm not gay.

241
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,640
I'm sorry. That's all right.

242
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:02,960
So this "friend"...?

243
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,960
I just felt

244
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,960
She looked up to me... Oh, did she?

245
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,960
..and I thought it would be nice

246
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:12,960
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

247
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,960
That's cool, that's cool.

248
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,160
All right, darling.

249
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,960
What's that? Oh, that's just

250
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,960
You're not still

251
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,960
No, I grieve for the menopause.

252
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,960
I haven't got

253
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,960
I'm held together with gels,

254
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:29,960
It's good to be home, Mum.

255
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,960
Oh, good, it's nice to have

256
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,960
Yeah. We should catch up.

257
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,960
What are you doing tomorrow?

258
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,960
Oh, darling, I have something

259
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,960
I'm going to be

260
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,960
MUSIC: "Bulletproof"

261
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,960


262
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,960


263
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:57,960


264
00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,960


265
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,960


266
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,960


267
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:08,960
Sexy.

268
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,960
No.

269
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,960
So, how have you been?

270
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,960
I didn't know you were

271
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,960
Yeah, well, I got

272
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,640
That's cos yous kept me

273
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,960
See? So there are benefits

274
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,960
Yeah, nice. This is tasteful.

275
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,960
I reckon some of this stuff

276
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,960
Um, do you want another cup of tea?

277
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:39,960
When you're inside, everyone does

278
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,000
Of course, everyone is doing

279
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,960
Oh, my God!

280
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,960
Why did I only just hear?

281
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,960
Oh, oh! Oh, God!

282
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,960
So how was it? I was trying

283
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,320
You'd been sectioned, yeah.

284
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:02,480
Yes.

285
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,960
How are you now? Are you OK?

286
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,960
Really well. Great pills!

287
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,960
The voices have stopped.

288
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,960
So how was it?

289
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:16,960
Was it scary?

290
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,960
Did you get beaten up at all?

291
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:19,960
No. Oh.

292
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,960
Was there a...?

293
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,960
No.

294
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,960
Oh, Sarah, this is Baron.

295
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,640
Oh!

296
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,320
She was my best friend in prison.

297
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,960
Oh.

298
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,320
Oh...! No.

299
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,960
Ooh! No. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

300
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,960
Stop it!

301
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,960
The voices are back!

302
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:59,960
Phoo. That was weird!

303
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:03,000
I'm sorry. I don't want tea -

304
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,960
Darling, what was Titicaca

305
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:09,960
Eh? Sweetheart, is your little pris

306
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,960
Yes, Mum, this is Baron.

307
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,960
Nice to meet you.

308
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,960
Oh!

309
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,960
Hello, Baron, yeah. Wh'appen?

310
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,640
So this is Pats... Oh.

311
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,160
Oh! So...

312
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,960
..Baron. I like your place.

313
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,960
Yeah. Yeah, I lahk it, I lahk it.

314
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,320
Yeah. Yeah, my...my crib is nahs.

315
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:43,640
I really lahk it, I lahk it.

316
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,960
It's...it's like workin' it,

317
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,960
And you know, Baron, well,

318
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:54,960
you can, um, you can just, like,

319
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,960
Yeah, yeah, cos you

320
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,960
Stop it. I can't help it.

321
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,320
Yeah, she's a sweetheart. Mm.

322
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,960
So, Baron, what was you,

323
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,960
You know, what's you insahd...

324
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,480
Oh, it doesn't matter, it doesn't

325
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,960
You don't have to tell her.

326
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,480
I'm no fish, but I was in

327
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,960
And I just, you know catch a ride

328
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,000
I mean, that was

329
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,960
They put you inside

330
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,960
I want you to meet Pats.

331
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,960
You staying for munch?

332
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:33,960
Are you staying...?

333
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,320
Pats! Pats!

334
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,160
Pats! Ooh! Pats!

335
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,960
Pats, darling!

336
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,160
What are you doing?

337
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:48,960
Eddy, Eddy, that one, that girl...

338
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,960
Yes, she's lovely, darling,

339
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,960
She's a killer!

340
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,960
No, she's not, darling, she's just

341
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,960
Yeah, papers, Eddy - drugs, Eddy...

342
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:01,960
Oh, drugs!

343
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,640
To ME, Eddy!

344
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,960
You didn't dob her in,

345
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,160
No, darling. Did you?

346
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,960
No, the thing is, Eddy,

347
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,960
I need your help. I owe her money.

348
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,960
Well, how much? Lots! Oh, God!

349
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,960
And she says if she doesn't get it,

350
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,960
Oh, no darling, she's all right.

351
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,640
And YOU, Eddy! Oh, Christ!

352
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,960
Did she see you?

353
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:28,960
Did she recognise you?

354
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,960
Yeah. She did.

355
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,960
Hello, there, Aunty Patsy!

356
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,960
Hello! You remember

357
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,960
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah?

358
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,960
Nice. Tailor-made.

359
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,960
Yeah, well,

360
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,960
Got any shit?

361
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:47,960
I've got...

362
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,960
I've got a stake, I've got a spliff,

363
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:56,800
I've got a hookah, I've got

364
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,960
I want my money. She hasn't

365
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:01,960
Shut up! Shut...

366
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,960
Yeah. Well, I want 50 buckets.

367
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:05,960
Pardon? What?

368
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,960
50 Derulos. What?

369
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,960
50 Rios. Er...

370
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:11,960
£50,000.

371
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:12,960
THEY GASP

372
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,960
If I don't get it, yeah,

373
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,960
and your daughter in the meantime

374
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,960
She will be, she will be.

375
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,000
Yeah, she'll be very sweet

376
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,960
She's SWEET to you. She will be.

377
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,960
She'll be bloody sweet to you. Cool.

378
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,800
Oh, Christ!

379
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:31,960
Christ.

380
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,960
Do you like porcini?

381
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,320
I don't know what the shit that is.

382
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:43,960
Get me another drink.

383
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,960
Get it yourself.

384
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,960
Don't mess me about.

385
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,960
Baron, you can get yourself a drink.

386
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,960
But you is my little wifey.

387
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,960
YOU does it.

388
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:57,960
Your wifey?

389
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,960
Get...me...another...drink!

390
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,960
"THE KILLING" PLAYS

391
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,800
SHE SPEAKS GIBBERISH

392
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,320
Mum.

393
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:19,480
Darling, what are you doing here?

394
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:20,960
She's not my girlfriend!

395
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,000
Sit down.

396
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,960
I hate to break this to you,

397
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,800
Why?

398
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,960
She's Patsy's old drug dealer,

399
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,960
All right, hang on, don't blow off

400
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,960
It's just that Patsy owes her

401
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,960
Oh, my God! I know, but we're going

402
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,960
you've just got to keep her sweet,

403
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,640
All right, then we'll be killed in

404
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,960
Go on, do as you're told.

405
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,480
I'll sort this.

406
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,960
With clear, logical...

407
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,960
and Danish thinking.

408
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,960
SHE YAWNS

409
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,960
SHE GASPS

410
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,960
TRANSLATED FROM DANISH:

411
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,960
Sarah Lund.

412
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,960
SHE SPEAKS IN DANISH

413
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:16,960
Sarah Lund?

414
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,960
EDDY SPEAKS GIBBERISH

415
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,960
EDDY CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH

416
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,000
No, just leave the necklace.

417
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,960
The necklace

418
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,960
SHE CARRIES ON SPEAKING GIBBERISH

419
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,960
Sorry, I...I don't know

420
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,640
I'm speaking Danish.

421
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:53,960
No, you're not.

422
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:55,960
Yes, I am.

423
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:56,960
No, you're not.

424
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:57,960
I am!

425
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,960
'Mum. Mum!'

426
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,960
Oh! What? What, darling?

427
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,960
I'm scared. I asked her to go, and

428
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,960
Oh, God! Oh, I'll call Patsy.

429
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,960
Where is she? She's in the attic.

430
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:14,960
Pats!

431
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,960
Yeah, what's happening?

432
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,960
the money she says Patsy owes her.

433
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:23,480
Oh! Oh, I don't like this, Eddy.

434
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:24,960
Mum, Baron is serious.

435
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,800
All right, darling. Well,

436
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,160
I'm not cash rich.

437
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,960
Darling, I invest in accessories.

438
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,960
My shoes are my hedge fund

439
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:35,960
Well, shall we call the police?

440
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,960
NO!

441
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,960
This is your fault, you know,

442
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:41,960
YOU invited her in!

443
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,960
Why haven't you got any money?

444
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,960
You never stopped working at

445
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,800
Of course they don't pay me.

446
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,320
Will you stop hassling Pats, please?

447
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:55,960
You must have been paid.

448
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:56,960
What about your pension?

449
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:57,960
How dare you?!

450
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,960
I'm 39! 39.

451
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,000
You don't get your pension?

452
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,640
Eddy... Oh, my God,

453
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,960
Oh, stop it, darling. Nyee, nyee!

454
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:22,960
Don't!

455
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,960
You don't tell me "don't",

456
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:28,160
Until I get my money,

457
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:29,960
I like this house.

458
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,960
I like YOU.

459
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,960
What, was you thinking you was

460
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,960
I don't think so!

461
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:44,640
Yeah, you my pet, little girl,

462
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,960
And no-one touches my pet, hmm?

463
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,640
SHE HUFFS AND SCOFFS

464
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,960
Done some serious negotiation.

465
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,960
And I think I've... Oh!

466
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:02,960
Oh, darling, she wants £70,000 now.

467
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,960
Oh, let's just leave the country,

468
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,320
How could you spend

469
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,800
When was the last time

470
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,960
This isn't the 1980s. I'm not

471
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,640
I'm talking about Chanels

472
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,960
I'm talking about opium

473
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,960
I am talking ayahuasca

474
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,960
blown from a shaman's pipe

475
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,960
This is the Bugatti

476
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,960
This costs! Give them up if you

477
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,320
Have you seen the price

478
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,640
Just sell something, Eddy!

479
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,960
Yeah, well, I haven't got

480
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,960
That's true, dear. Yeah.

481
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,960
Well, you have got to do something.

482
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,960
What shall we do, darling?

483
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,000
Shall we? Shall we bake some?

484
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:50,320
Anyway, you should be downstairs,

485
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,000
No! Oh, what? You won't do

486
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,960
and we get slit from ear to ear?

487
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,960
Well, thank you very much(!)

488
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,640
What about her?

489
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,960
Well, that's sixpence a week,

490
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,160
£102.15, dear.

491
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,960
Over how many years?

492
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:13,960
You need to go to the Benefits

493
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,480
Have you got a birth certificate?

494
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,960
Salary slips?

495
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,000
That's it.

496
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,480
You've got a passport!

497
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:29,960
Is that you?

498
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,960
Well, sort of.

499
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,960
down the Bull and Minge

500
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,960
You haven't got anything?!

501
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,960
No. Credit card? No, I...

502
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,800
She uses mine. Yeah.

503
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,960
There's no record of you anywhere?

504
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,960
Who am I, Ed?

505
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:50,960
You're nobody.

506
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,960
Oh, you have to have paperwork

507
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,960
Maybe I don't exist, Eddy.

508
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,160
Maybe someone stole my identity.

509
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,960
Stop it! What am I going to do,

510
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,960
Well, dear,

511
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,960
Oh, God! Something official

512
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,960
Well, why didn't you say so, dear?

513
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,960
I think I might be able to help.

514
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:14,960
Here we are.

515
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,960
Here's your old

516
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,960
Well, I haven't taken much out, just

517
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,000
BARON: Wifey! WIFEY!

518
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:28,960
Go on, then!

519
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,960
Get to work! Go on, get...!

520
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:50,960
Hello. Yeah, hi, just come in

521
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:51,960
Right.

522
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,960
Oh, my God! Oh, God,

523
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:56,960
Thank you.

524
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,320
Is that the prairie look?

525
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,160
Oh, I love! Anyway my friend, here.

526
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,480
This one?

527
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,960
This one.

528
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,960
Right.

529
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,960
You just need birth certificate,

530
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,960
Oh, let's go, Eddy.

531
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:15,960
We don't have any of that.

532
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,480
Oh. Um, OK, so what's your name?

533
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:25,480
Eurydice Colette Clytemnestra Dido

534
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:30,960
Cool. So how old do we know you are?

535
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,960
Um, what do you

536
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,000
I don't know if this would help,

537
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,960
I don't know if that would help.

538
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,480
Um... Oh, OK. Well, this is OK.

539
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,960
Yeah? Um... There's still

540
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,960
I'm just checking

541
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,960
But National Insurance has been paid

542
00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:01,800
on everything that's gone into

543
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,960
So still no birth certificate.

544
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,960
Back, back. Sorry.

545
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,960
Back, back.

546
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,960
I'm joking!

547
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:16,960
Back, back! Oh, bingo!

548
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,960
PRINTER WHIRRS AND CLICKS

549
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,320
Oh, Eddy! Oh, darling!

550
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,000
Oh! I'm a person!

551
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,960
Yeah, a very rich person.

552
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,960
A very OLD person.

553
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:33,960
BARON CHUCKLES

554
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,960
I can't believe this, man -

555
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:38,960
You was all so easy.

556
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:40,960
Oh, well, have some more.

557
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,960
No, no, darling. Why pay less?

558
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,960
No, darling, that's not what they

559
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,160
Go! Go! Go!

560
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,320
No, no, no. Oh, her! Yes, yes.

561
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:55,960
Oh, good riddance!

562
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:57,960
Oh! Cheers, darling, cheers.

563
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,800
Thank you. Yeah, "Thank you."

564
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,960
It's not exactly what you expect

565
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,960
Go to pris, bring home

566
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,960
So how much has she got?

567
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:11,800
Yeah, I mean, that Post Office book

568
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,960
bursting at the seams with

569
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:18,640
And then her pension, darling,

570
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,960
What are you going to do

571
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:21,960
No, no, sweetheart, no, no.

572
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:24,960
You've got to put it somewhere,

573
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,800
Oh!

574
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,960
Here, sweetheart.

575
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,960
Oh, what's that?

576
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,960
Ooh! Hi, Stella.

577
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:37,000
No, darling.

578
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:39,960
No, sweetheart.

579
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,000
It's a wallet.

580
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,960
It's a wallet. A wallet.

581
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,960
A wallet? Yes. A wallet.

582
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:51,960
I've got a wallet?

583
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,960
Wow!

584
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,960


585
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:04,960


586
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,960


587
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:15,960


588
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,960
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